Who’s Sitting at the Head of Your Table?


STEP 1:  Who’s sitting at the head of your table?

We each have many different parts inside of us including fear, the judge, the martyr, love, confidence, and more.  If you think about all of those parts as little kids sitting around a giant dining room table, the question to ask before you go on a date, an interview or even begin the process of writing down your goals is, “Who is sitting at the the head of your table?”  Or said another way, “Who is running your show?”  If the drill sergeant in you is creating the goals, it’s likely they will be unattainable and set you up to fail.  If fear is heading into the meeting, you may not be able to express yourself eloquently.  When insecurity is on the date, you may shut down completely.  The opportunity here is to invite the healthy adult in you who wants to set you up to succeed, to sit at the head of the table to take on this task.  When you do, you will shift an unconscious pattern that has stopped you from achieving your goals in the past.

STEP 2:  Start at the end

Think about the result you want 1 year from now and work backwards.  For instance, “I am joyfully attending my family reunion 25 pounds lighter.”  Or “I Am successfully launching my new business.”  Or “I am happily working in my dream job making $150,000 or more per year.”  Whatever it is, make it clear and measurable.  Once you have that goal written out, work backwards.  If that’s the goal in 1 year, what results have to happen 9 months from now, 6 months from now, 3 months from now, 1 month from now?  It’s important to make those monthly results specific as well so you know the marks you’re looking to hit leading up to the 1 year goal.

STEP 3:  Find your why

Most people quit working towards their goals because they either forgot or never figured out why they started.  You must find your why – that deeper reason for wanting to achieve this goal.  Why do you want to run a marathon, lose weight, change jobs? What is that going to provide for you and others when you achieve it?  It must be a reason that gets you up in the morning, that inspires you and keeps accountable, otherwise it is sure to fall into the goal graveyard where so many unrealized results end up.  So think about it, and whatever it is, put this in the plan and refer to it often – especially when you feel like quitting… which you will.

STEP 4:  Keep it bite size

Now that you have your healthy adult at the head of your table, your plan, and your why, it’s time to work week to week.  Commit to bite size action steps based on your monthly goals.  You don’t have to do this all at once.  Trust that you are right on schedule and know that consistency is key.  One, baby step at a time.

STEP 5:  Keep yourself accountable

When you tell another person what you are committed to accomplishing, suddenly the stakes raise and it’s time to hold yourself accountable.  If you don’t share your goals out loud with another person, then it’s too easy to let yourself “off the hook”.  We’ve all done it.  So set yourself up for success. Reach out. And know you are not alone.

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